It was the day before the Khitomer peace-talks, 2293. Captain James T. Kirk offered Klingon Chancellor Gorkon and his retinue Romulan Ale. Sure, it was illegal, but there are certain advantages to being Captain James T. Kirk. The conversation ranged from William Shakespeare to the finer points of Earth’s own history, and even touched on topics of semantics and table manners.
Those initial talks were a disaster, which was less attributed to the inebriative effects of the bright blue Romulan beverage, but more to the shape of the corkscrew used. Little known fact – the corkscrew used was roughly the same shape as the ancient-Klingon pictogram for the words “turtlehead,” considered a grave slur in tlinghan Hol.
There were words exchanged, a Chancellor murdered in cold blood, and photon torpedoes flew like Rigelian fire-hawks. It wasn’t pretty. If only they had a corkscrew like this one! This chromed-out bad boy is shaped like a Romulan Raptor Bird-of-Prey* firing a disruptor. Not only would this not offend the Klingons, they would have seen it as a nod to superior Klingon starship design (since the Klingon Bird-of-Prey was a precursor to the Romulan design.
So, avoid future interstellar incidents by opening your own corked beverages of choice, be it French Bordeaux, English cask-conditioned ales, or even Romulan blue brews should you have any!
* – It’s well established that the Romulans borrowed starship designs from the Klingons. Of course the Romulan Raptor is a direct rip-off of the Klingon Bird of Prey. They know good starship design when they see it.
* Chrome and steel corkscrew
* Shaped like a Romulan “Raptor” Bird-of-Prey Starship
* Officially licensed, ThinkGeek Exclusive
* Suitable for opening bottles of wine, beer, or alien alcoholic concoction
* Not suitable as a weapon, but will work in a pinch against Klingons